Culinary Delights

India has a lot to offer for those who are daring enough to try out different cuisines.
The mere view of the menu card can be also be a highly entertaining experience when it comes to dining in mediocre eat-outs in the popular/not so popular tourist destinations throughout India.
I have been greatly amused by stories of friends who were served Kaliflober manchurian , Borotta and the likes while on their honeymoon to Munnar, Shillong, Konkan coast etc.
Nowadays we have these culinary delights available right at our doorstep on sign boards outside the office canteen.

Gingeli oil features as an item on the menu.( Wonder why !!!) I am waiting for the day when they list out each and every raw material on the menu..i.e. instead of tea, it can be milk, water, tea powder and sugar.
Whoever wants a cuppa can order one each of the above four, and request all of it to be served in a single cup. Thus they can showcase a larger menu card, and maybe charge us more.

The other day ,a trip to the canteen for lunch had all of us ROTFL..listed on the menu was an item erstwhile unheard of-Veg Gupta- We've never figured out what this was really meant to be.The best guess (by Asad) was Veg Kofta , although what was served had little resemblance to kofta. To satisfy my curiosity, I tried googling for the same, and had Google look back at me with the eye of a headmaster admonishing a naughty child..with a stern..'did you mean mrs gupta..or Veg recipies by Mrs. Gupta).
Offcourse there are the other regulars namely aloo mattar and panner mattar.

While googling for other interesting delicacies ,came across the below from various restaurants offering tastly( tasty enhanced a lil bit) and homely food :

Stuffed nun among the breads offered ( Wonder what Vatican has to say about that)
Children soup.. (Kids and parents beware)
Fresh Lame Juice and Fresh Lame soda ( for the lame and lazy)
Egg role/Chicken role ( Yet to find out the role they were playing)
Moton Biriyani (replace the t with an r and we can have a more interesting varitey of Biriyani -for which we have enough and more ingredients available in the office premises)
Pomprat fry (Pomprat is the cousin of the more familiar pomfret)
Chainese/Chinise food ( The Chinese are credited with discovering Chai..hence the name)
Thy food (Lord here comes thy food)
Sand witch (Yuck..eating a witch ..that too one made out of sand)
Vaangi bath( this one had me ROTFL..in malayalam vaangi means to get or to buy. So the literary transalation would mean to buy a bath..while the intended meaning is vangi(eggplant) bhath(rice))
Strabery ( is a rare kind of berry used only in hotels of Chennai , Bangalore etc..very good for making icecream though)
Plane parathas (you can have your choice of plane..Boeing 747, MIG fighter)
Plan tea ( So much planning needed for having tea???)
Fried Rise (a breakfast dish to be had at Sun rise)

** P.S. the idea for this post originated while having 'Burma Bhagan' for lunch from the office canteen.
Eagerly looking forward to have more interesting dishes.. Veg-kumars, veg-Varugheses n all.

A canine soap opera

It's quite late in the night now.Guess its around 2:30 in the morning. Ever since I started working in second shift, my sleep pattern has been greatly affected. I hate tossing and turning in bed and waiting to fall asleep. Until I feel my eyes burning for want of sleep and I am in danger of dropping my laptop/mobile to the ground in utter exhaustion, I seldom lie down in bed even if it is way past midnight.

So here I am: a self proclaimed insomniac trying to download songs from the net, and being serenaded by a canine soap opera right outside my window.
I guess they are the only creatures other than myself, awake and moving about in this corner of the world right now. Listening to them bark, howl,whine and yell, I'm trying to picturise the many I have seen roaming about on the roads outside my hostel and am wondering which ones are there outside my window right now.

There's this small black pup, who during day time is often seen loitering around the butcher's, hoping to feed on left over meat. Then there's the white and beige spotted guy with an attitude of a school headmaster, and a tail which sticks out in the opposite direction like a path finder ; the unruly gang of white, black and spotted youths who are always getting into fights on the road and making life a little more scary for all the pedestrians ,with all the teeth baring ,deep throated growls and kungfu moves in the dust; the couple of Laila's in the pack, of whom all these road-romeo's are mad about..

The howling of dogs at night used to make me very scared, thinking of all those spooky stories about dogs howling on seeing ghosts n all ...Even though their orchestra makes the nights more dreary and scary, nowadays I have started looking forward to these performances. It gives me a companionship in the otherwise lonely night.

Sometimes it is a solitary bark now and then. Some days all of a sudden couple of them decide to assemble within 20 m radius of my window, and start a series of high/low pitched howls. The off key soap opera usually continues for some time, with the pitch rising and falling...canine soprano's joining and dropping out of the chorus in a perfectly asynchronised way, and finally trails off in a series of low pitched whines..
Some days I hear a lone dog barking all by itself for quite sometime.. like having a conversation to itself.( and reminds me of those project meetings we have back in office..which is often a monologue by Mr. M ..shhh !!!! you know who).

I often wonder what triggers them off during the night. Is it the ghosts or is it Jack the ripper..or just a rat ...or is it just their nocturnal instincts surfacing after midnight.Whatever the reason might be, the ruckus they create is enough to keep the devil himself away from this place(and hopefully keep the dead in their graves).

Arranged Marriages - The Mallu Way - Part 1 (An Introduction)

For those of you, who are not familiar with the terminologies mentioned in the title:

Mallu's( including me) are a clan of people in India who inhabit a narrow strip of cocount grove geographically positioned down south of Goa, between the Western Ghats and the Arabain Sea, and speak in Malayalam, which according to them is a very 'simble' language.
The Mallu species can be broadly classified into 3 - Christian mallu, Hindu mallu and Muslim mallu. There are infinitessimal sub divisions to each of these main divisions, which in political terms is known as the caste system.

Arranged marriage - Is an integral component of the mallu sanskar, a tradition that is proudly followed in most of the families of malluland, right from the time man discovered fire (or may be even before). This is an arrangement in which the family (Immediate/Distant/Very Distant/very very distant relatives), friends, neighbours, neighbours of relatives, servants, all decide to zero in and torture any boy/girl of marriageable age into wedlock.

As per the moral police, it is scandalous for the boy/girl to decide whom he/she is going to spend the rest of his/her life with.( Who ever attempts that-let their life rot in hell) .The right to find a suitable 'arrangement' therefore lies with the above mentioned list of 'well wishers' of the guy/girl.

From time immemmorial, countless generations of mallus have entered the bliss and harmony of wedlock by means of this 'arrangement'...and they are adamant that the tradition ispreserved in all purity, allowing the future generations to experience the same 'bliss' as they did. This has ensured that unlike other 'mallu values' that were lost in the influx of 'Gulf' and Amercian money during the post Independance era, the tradition of 'arranged marriages' continue to thrive in malluland.

Moreover this 'arrangement of affairs' has greatly supported the growth of Mallu economy, by sustaining hell a lot of small scale industries. Listing some of them below :

Marriage bureaus-
had humble beginnings in thacthed single rooms and were run by a sub-species of the mallu clan termed as the 'broker'. This is not a male dominated career and malluland has an equal mix of 'brokers' and 'brokerni's'. They can be identified by the presence of the inevitable component - binded diary/notebook in the crook of their arm . This diary holds the photo/DOB / salary/ family details..and all other vital statistics relating to every boy/girl of marriagable age in the same jurisdiction. Thanks to the recent 'e' volution of the 'e' era, we have 'e' brokerage sites, for the more tech savvy mallu's but the 'broker' is still a favorite of the less tech savvy momma's and Pappa's.

Furniture marts/Household accesories
Nerolac/Asian/Nippon and numerous other Paint manufactures-
All part of the arrangement, to make the residence of the prospective bride / groom attractive and eye catchy. Two or three rounds of painting might be needed, if the match the following process extends over couple of years. (Not to mention the painetrs/mason's etc..who never need to worry about a job due to the thriving marriage industry in malluland).

RMKV/Kalyan/Josco...( list goes on) silks-
Josco/Alappat/Bhima/Alukkas--jewelers
Lakme/Revlon/L'oreal--
Addidas/Nike/Bata-
popular cosmetic brands/apparel/jewellery shops/accesories that a mallu lady uses, to enhance her charms, so that she makes a lasting impression on the (i didn't mean the indelible lipstick :D) 'alpha male' that chachan (dad) has nailed for her.

St George Bakery/Sita/Jeeva/Ann's---
Any bakery which serves the mandated delicacies like Tea cake, Appy fizz , Halwa etc. (We mallu's are absolute foodies..).Homemade delicacies like vattayappam , ethakka appam ..etc are also a huge hit.
Note .**Roasted nut factories in Quilon were saved from recession, due to the immense popularity of roasted and salted cashewnuts in the mallu pennukaanal (seeing the bride) ceremony associated with arranged marriages.

AirIndia/Indian railways/KPN/PKN and other bus services which shuttle out of station brides and grooms to and from from their hometown, for the countless bride/groom viewing ceremonies that happen as part of 'match the following'.

Even health care industries make profit out of this arrangement.We have a popular brand of health tonic in malluland whose ad goes like this: ''My daughter was very thin and because of that she was not getting any suitable proposals. Now after having XYZ tonic, she has become so smart , her dad has to stay awake at night and chase boys away from theneighbourhood- All thanks to XYZ'' Accompanied by pictures of a now smart and round looking girl with her now happy mom.

With the entire economy in the firm grips of marriage market, I understand why the elder generation of mallu's are fanatic about the 'arranged marriage' thingy. If every young mallu decided to defy the elder junta and find a gal/guy of their own, not only would it bring shame to the family, but might trigger a chain of events in the economic sector which can escalate to catastrophic propotions, and bring the entire malluland to its knees.

Almost all the events in the whole parody of an 'arranged marriage' are kick started by seemingly harmless conversations like the one below:

Mom goes to Hospital to see an ailing relative.There she meets Leelamma, another aquaintance whom she has not seen for a long time.

Mom: Hello Leelamme.
L : Ayyo Hello Mariayamme.Enthokkeyundu visesham??( This is a standard mallu greeting meaning-How are you?)
Mom: I am doing good.How's everyone at home?
L : Now that the children are married off, me and achayan(Achayan is a salutation which the mallu christain wife uses to address her husband..much like bava in telugu or mama in Tamil).. are all by ourselves.We are doing good.
Mom: Oh great. how are the daughters doing?
L : They are doing good. The younger one is coming from Dubai for Christmas.You have a daughter right? What is she doing?
Mom: She is working for TCS in Chennai.
L :molde kalyanam vallom aayo???( What is the progress on your daughter's marraige)
Mom-Sigh- Ippozhathe pillarude karyamalle( Today's generation ..rt). we have not started looking very actively. She was in UK for 2 years and have come back only now. She is saying she wants to go back to UK.
L : they will tell all such things. It is we ( the parents) who have to take initative and make them settle down. Don't delay such things.( takes out Mobile)- here - note down this number. This is Pappachan. the broker who helped us find alliances for both my daughters. Good guy only and charges reasonably.
Mom: (Takes out her mobile as well and notes down the number). Thanks ketto Leelamme..
L : NP. Give me your number also. If we know of any good guys, will let you know.

(After the exchnage of numbers, conversation veers of to other mundane topics)

Same day-Night 12;00 AM.- Dad trying to sleep. Mom having sleepless night recounting the conversation with Leelamma.

Mom: Leelamma from Mavelikkara saw me at the hospital today
Dad: Ok. Why did she come to hospital?
Mom: its not about Leelamma.
Dad: Oh So is her Husband ill?
Mom:( Angry looks at dad, which fortunately he cannot see as the lights are switched off.)
She was asking me, if we have started looking for Neethu.
Dad: She is still young. Also we'll better have a word with her before we start off anything( God bless all Dad's in the world for whom their little girls never grow up)
Mom: You are the one who is spoiling her. My daddy did not ask my permission when he married me to you.
Dad:(Thinking :neither did mine :( ..see what I have ended up with)) Times are different now.
Mom: What times are different. If she has plans to bring home anybody, I'll break both her legs off.
Dad: (Preffers a two legged daughter over a legless one)-Ok let me see.
Mom: What let me see??? Leelamma told me about that guy Pappachan-he found good match for both her daughters .She has given me Pappachan's number. You have to call him up first thing tommorrow morning and register her name with his bureau.
Dad: Ok but I feel we need to discuss with her also.
Mom: You go ahead and register her name there.I'll talk to her.

(Neethu's fate is sealed)

So the very next day Dad goes in search of Pappachan, to register his precious daughter's biodata and avail Pappachan's esteemed services in getting a suitable bridegroom.

To be continued...

Verbal Diarrohea and the agonies of a confused mind

After a long time, it looks like I 'm infected with the verbal diarrohea again. For the past two days, I've been scribbling non-stop in my diary.Serious/semi serious/ abstract/ random/ funny/ sad thoughts keep pouring out. I guess it's an avalanche,triggered by some seismic activity happening in my sub-conscious, to download and dispose off the junk thoughts that clutter my cranial cavity.

The recent increase in workload, combined with the myriad's of decision makings happening on the personal and career front, have infact increased the clutter pile,threatening to choke my grey cells to death.

I keep feeling that the whole life is a swamp..a deep swamp that drags you down and traps you all the more when you try to escape. Some are lucky enough to find a handhold that can drag them out of the muck.But most others spend their entire lives kicking out, flailing their arms and legs, trying to prevent the mud from sucking them in..trying to stay alive, and in the whole process driving themselves to utter exhaustion.

I remember reading about a phenominon that the scientists have termed as 'Brain Burn out'.It is something similar to a PC crash that happens in the brain, after too much memory space is used up trying to do so many things..and worrying about the many things that are yet to be done.Lack of proper sleep and a screwed up routine ensures to speed up the process further. If whatever the survey's and studies indicate is true, I strongly believe that I am on the verge of a 'brain collapse'.

Deadlines...Deadlines and more deadlines.Life has become a stupid race against deadlines. In the 2010 year planner on my desk ,I can see a lot of tiny red circles crosses and lines indicating the various targets I need to achive.Each time I see it,I feel tight chested and breathless- symptoms akin to a heart attack.Back at the home front, my parents and the oh-so -concerned uncles and aunties are so worried that I have not tied the knot yet..and are badgering me with more deadlines to find a guy ,settle down, and generously contribute to the growing population.

I just keep wondering if we are the cause of all our unhappiness and dissatisfaction. Are our ambitions driving us mad? Are we overstepping the very thin line between desire and greed?I feel the demonic hand of depression strangling my mind which is now like a frozen over lake.
When was the last time I've been like this? I feel that I'm even losing my belief in the power of prayer.I feel as if a huge weight is tied to my mind, that is slowly choking me, making me breathless, crushing my thoughts and emotions.Its heavy hold keeps disturbing me even in my sleep-with dreams that are scary or sad.I cry myself to sleep and wakeup with the white patches of dried up tears around my eyes.The depth of the sadness within me reflects in the dark circles around my eyes,and in the reducing weight of my body.

Harry Potter books speak about the 'De mentors' who guard the great prison of Azkhaban who suck all the happy memories and love out of people, leaving them as cold, lifeless shells of the warm beings they once were. Is there a de mentor out there somewhere, slowly sucking out the happiness from my mind?

My pen, and the pages of my diary which accepts all my words unconditionaly, are the only painkillers I have. As the agonies of my mind pour out as tear stained words, I have come to understand that an aching mind aids undisturbed writing.

Even then I manage to laugh and joke and pretend to be happy before the world.

The Don't Quit-Poem

The below is the Don't Quit Poem ... I am not a huge fan of inspirational lines, but this one definitely pulls me through, when the going really gets tough...

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit, Rest, if you must, but don't you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about,
When he might have won had he stuck it out;
Don't give up though the pace seems slow--
You may succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer than,
It seems to a faint and faltering man,
Often the struggler has given up,
When he might have captured the victor's cup,
And he learned too late when the night slipped down,
How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out--
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far,
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit-- I
t's when things seem worst that you must not quit.
- Author unknown

The right to my life

My needs are very simple.My wants are very few.
I donot wish to hurt anyone.I hope my words do no harm..

All I wish for, is the right to live My life on my own terms.



I do need a family-A husband, kids and a home of my own.
I wish to work, I wish to think, to dream and to dress and to
make each moment count.


Dont I have the right to choose.
To decide who will be my better half.
To have a career of my choice
To dress and speak and think as I wish?

Should I be against my will, forced to speak to people

Forced to make a choice of One from the many I dont approve.
Should I go against my conciense , and nod my head,

smile, act demure just to keep others happy.

Should I still keep believeing that everything that happens,
Happens for good..


I do still hope for the best, Though I have lost my faith in prayers.

I do hope that at the end all my tears and pain wouldn't be in vain.

We shy Indians

Hmm ... was thinking of something interesting to write about. As said in my previous post, arranged marriage vs love marriage is still the hottest topic on my palate, but I'm still too hot headed after arguments with the home front, that I'm not in a mood to write about anything related to marriage, till I become levelheaded about the whole business.


But thinking about the Indian traditions, and going through couple of oldie songs on the youtube, brings into mind some interesting observations.... you guessed it right...The portrayal of love/romance/ anything for that matter, which has to do with a man and woman becoming intimate, and how delicately the topic used to be handled by the movies of yesteryears..


The hero and heroine would inevitably have atleast one courtship song , where they hug, run around the trees, and do all possible gimmicks, but when it comes to a kiss on the lips, there would always be the famous pause, and the heroine would, with a shyness (that-was-not there till-now), tilt off her head and run off back into the trees, or down the meadows leaving the flabbergasted hero looking after her with an expression which can be more equated to indigestion , than romance or sadness over a just missed chance..

Indian heroes of yesteryears are not to be underestimated though, coz they have a never say die attitude. They will remain dumbstruck for only a brief second, after which they would bound after the heroine singing the next line of the song..

Those of you who deosn't exactly understand what i'm saying , can watch Yeh Wada Raha( un remixed original version with Rishi kapoor in lead role) on you tube.( You can watch almost all movie songs of the same era , which would inevitably have similar scenes).

And in situations which inevitably needed the protrayal of scenes more intimate, the camera, would be discreetly turned to focus on, more symbolic imagery, of a bee sitting on a flower, or two lovebirds on the tree, or two flowers rubbing at each other in the breeze...leaving the rest to the viewers ( wildest) inmaginations.. :D

I remember all the fun we girls had in our ladies hostel in Chennai, when any of these oldies were screened..These scenes had all of us rolling on the floor with laughter, much to the indignation of our old cook Laksmiyamma, who had the deepest disregard for the bold portrayals of newage cinema.

"Idhil enna thapu irukku?" ( What is wrong in this )she used to ask.." Ippo ellam vekkam maanam edhum illama padam edukkaranga. Enga kaalathil cinema ellam evalo decent aa irundhadhu..paaru... " She would start off and I being the most silent member of the group, would inevitably be dragged in to support her.. "Nee sollu neethu.. Idhu dhaane decent movie??" She would finally turn to me for support.. I would manage a feeble " Aaama Lakshmiyamma, evalo decent acting.." before collapsing on the floor with the other girls..and gigling my heart out...
Those were the days..


And likewise the imagery would be a hawk attacking its prey, or cat pouncing on the rat, for the more sensitive rape scenes, accompanied by the wierdest of screetching noises.Old malayalam movies, esp the ones with K.P.Ommer as the villain and Sharada as the hapless heroine, are typical examples. Our elder generation were definitely a wise lot when it came to expressing feelings without violating the code of ethics, I should say..

I remember my school days , when Anil Kapoor,Madhuri Dixit and Sridevi, were the hot picks of Bolloywood cinema. Back those day's Doordarshan was the only channel, and we had a program called Ek Se Badkar Ek, which showed clippings of songs, in between some comedy skits.The top 20 songs for the week would be shown, and the program was a big hit with us youngsters. Since the program was aired after 10 in the night, our parents didnt necessarly approve its viewing, and we kids used to take utmost care to make sure that, they did not come into the room , when some controversial songs were running....

Now , we had our own way of categorising songs.. They were categorised based on the harm that would befall us if any parent walked into the room and caught us watching this stuff. Songs of Govinda and Karishma were branded harmless, as there would always be 50 more people dancing with them in the background, and the songs would mostly be comical. Anyways my parents and uncles, knew very little Hindi, so they couldnt make out even if the lyrics were a bit raunchy. Equaly harmless were those songs when the hero and heroine used to run through the meadows, or hero used to dream about his girl..Songs like Ghar se Nikalte Hi, and Ek ladki ko dekah fit this bill.

But there were cerain songs, which were supposed to be kind of adults only. These were shot in a blue light, and the hero and heroine had all sort of " romantic expressions" and actions, to further ascertain the fact that it is a " very hot" song.. eg. Tu Mile from movie Criminal, The Anil Kapoor-Sridevi song from Mr India etc..,Now these were the songs we had to be very very cautious about. If anyone stumbled upon us watching these songs, we were dead meat.. So we usually had the youngest cousin stand guard at the entrance of the room ( offourse he would have to be heavily bribed), and signal if he sensed any impending danger of parental intervention while we watched Nagarjuna open mouthed..

All those times, still bring a smile when I think of how naive and innocent we all were ...

I think we as a race still have issues accepting open display's of romance, atleast on Indian cinema's. But we dont essentialy mind it while watching english movies. I remember watching the 2007 Mani Ratnam movie Guru. The movie has a scene, where hero Madhavan proposes to Vidya Balan, and ends up kissing her. I personally felt it was a wonderful and sensual portrayal of two peoples feelings . I was pretty surprised at the reaction of couple of my friend's towards that scene, which they felt was " not at all needed and just added in the movie for Masala purpose". Trust me, these are guys who wouldnt mind watching scenes more bold and direct, when it comes to an English movie.

So is it a stamp of decency that we are expecting from anything Indian? Similar to what the desi's feel when they are outside India..As long as the couple kissing by the roadside are not Indian, we dont mind, but the moment we realise the pair is Indian, or Asian for that matter..we feel our blood boiling over with thoughts of our sanskar being polluted.
Why did/do we have a problem with open display of romance? Not that I am a champion for that cause.( I 'm a very private person, and would like to keep certain aspects of my life hidden from public interference...)but just curious to know others thoughts ????